I'm Ant Pruitt and I have some things I'd like to say. I'll try my best to be brief. I won't promise being brief, but I'll try. . . .
I'm Ant Pruitt. . .
I'm a photographer. I'm a podcast host at TWiT TV.
I'm in my 40s.
I'm black. But wait, it gets better.
Not only am I black, I'm bald, I'm 6'2 inches tall and 235 pounds.
Some would even say I'm a monster. Those that have told me that to my face
have meant it as a joking compliment. But I assure you there have been people
that called me a monster behind my back. I assure they did NOT mean this as a
joking compliment.
I was born and reared in the south here in the United States. I have only recently relocated to northern California. At the time of recording this, it's been 9 months since I relocated. I have wanted to move out of the south for many years. At least a decade. Why? Because I was tired of the ignorance and flat out rude people in the area. I was tired of hearing and seeing people that looked like me get treated poorly. I was concerned that my partner and my children would this same treatment. I wanted more and better for them. My heart said that the south wasn't the place for me and my family anymore. Boy was I wrong. Come to find out, it seems like NOWHERE is the place for people that look like me or my family.
Let me clear up some things. I'm a southerner. I love my southern fried foods. I love the southern rituals of saying "hello" to complete strangers while you're passing by. I love Clemson football. But, I don't love the racial divide that's been there in the south since the beginning of this country's formation.
Where I'm from, I experienced and witnessed racism as if it were as normal as the sun rising and setting. It absolutely sucked. My mother and father raised me to be strong, smart and loving to everyone. They were devout Christians and truly walked the walk of Christianity as they loved everyone. With that said, they also warned me of potential attacks. Specifically, they told me to keep an eye on some of the white folks out there. Even though my parents and I got along with pretty much anyone, we could still be targeted with hate. . .and were. This intrigued me and sometimes angered me.
At one time in my life, I thought my elders and grandparents used to be afraid of white people. I thought this because of how they would act around them. Almost like they were inferior to these white people in public or on the job. I never understood that, but as I got older, I assumed it was just conditioning from when they grew up in the 40's, 50's and 60's. One of the saddest and most bizarre stories my grandfather told me was about the Dr Martin Luther King assassination. Of course this was pre Twitter and internet. My grandfather heard about it on the radio while at work. He got home from work and greeted my grandmother like he normally would and then said to her, "they finally got 'em." He didn't say anything along the lines of "oh God, Dr King has been killed." Or anything hysterically. He flat out said in the tone of general conversation, "they finally got 'em." Think about that. WHY would he have said it that way? Did he see this assassination coming? When that story was told to me, I was fairly young. The gravity of his remark didn't hit me until high school. I didn't bring it up to my grandfather again because it hurt my heart to even think of the conditions he and my grandmother lived through.
Fast forward to more recent years. Specifically, 2015. A video was published and my then 12 and 10yr old boys saw said video. It was of Walter Scott being shot in South Carolina. Just hours away from where we lived. When my 12yr old saw it, it shook him. Literally. He looked at me and asked why did they shoot him. Me having to explain that situation and what we deal with far as racism and police brutality was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. What sucks is just a few days prior to that, I was taking a lunchtime walk around my apartment complex for exercise. A policeman stopped me and asked what I was doing there. I told him I was walking. He asked again and I lost my temper. I told him I was walking and I LIVED THERE. He then drove off. I guess he didn't expect a black guy that works from home in the IT department to be out walking around during lunch hour.
My life, my stories. . .just the tip of the iceberg. I'm still here to tell about them. So many others are not due to wrongfully being killed. You don't see me online on a soapbox ranting and raving about this. At one time, I wanted to do that. But I quickly came to the conclusion that my voice didn't matter. This shit has been happening for HUNDREDS of years and quite honestly, I have no optimism about it. I need a reason to believe there will be change. You white people out here that care about me and/or people like me, I believe you have more power than any of us people of color regarding this. I have received so many private texts and messages from white people. Mostly my dear friends and some from fans and followers. It has meant a lot, but I ask that you all continue to show that love not only to me, but to others. I ask that you take that passion to the leadership of our local authorities and nation. A change has to be made. Senseless killing of innocent people is SICKENING. What's even more sickening is the individuals involved or committing the crime are not even punished more than anyone with a couple of parking tickets. Michael Vick was vilified and served time for his heinous acts against dogs. Yet killers of unarmed people. . .black people are acquitted or better yet suing the family of the people they killed for $100million.
Who's next? Your friend? Your mother? Your father? Me? Who's next?
I previously mentioned that I'm a photographer. This means I walk around with a camera in my hand. I am already considered creepy just for that. Right? You see someone with a camera, you probably try to hide yourself or you prejudge them as a creepy person, right? So walk in my shoes for a minute. I'm a photographer. I live in a "nice" neighborhood. I like to take morning photo walks at 6AM. But what happens when someone wakes up and sees me walking the streets with my camera?
I know what COULD happen, so I act accordingly. I NEVER go on a photo walk without wearing bright colors. Usually, Clemson orange. Peers and followers know I'm a Clemson fan, but don't realize that most of the time I'm wearing that color for my own protection. I want to make sure I'm clearly visible. I want to make sure that if I'm walking the neighborhood early in the morning with a camera or on the trail that early, I'm clearly visible. It's so easy for some white female to be out jogging and consider me a threat because I'm on the trail that early. If she sees me off in the distance, my only hope is my orange attire diffuses the anxiety enough for her to say "he's not trying to hide" or "he's just taking wildlife photos." It's a crapshoot either way, but it's the best option I have. Me, nor anyone of color should feel like we can't go for a walk or a jog in the public without being harmed or killed. But, that's where we still are today.
Thank you for your time. I hope today's show will not only raise awareness for all of this crap we're dealing within society, but also push more to demand civil change and justice. This stuff has got to stop. It has to stop. I'm tired of the tears that I have in my eyes. I'm tired of, every time my boys want to just run over to the local Walmart to get themselves a bag of chips. Being concerned that I don't know if they'll make it back or not. I'm tired that when I go out, my partner is concerned that I'm gonna be safe. Thank you, again. Peace.
-RAP, II